tangnaaaaaaaaaa

tang inaaaaaaa tang inaaaaaaaaaa tang inaaaaaaaaa shet shet shet hindi pwedeeeeeeeeeee bakti ganito nakakainis kaaaaaaaa bakit kita gustong halikan putang inaaaaaaaaa bakit bakit bakitttttttttt shet ayoko nang masaktan e.puta.gusto lang kitang halikan isa lang.gusto ko lang maramdaman kung anong feeling na halikan ka,kung ano feeling ng labi mo.shettt sheeet shettttt bakit pag katabi kita parang gusto lang kitang halikan.as in yun lang.as in once lang.shet.try lang.tang inaaaaaa.bakit ikaw bakit ikaw.bakit kasi masaya ako pag andyan ka.bakit kasi napapatawa mo ako.nakakainis,yan tuloy.gusto ko lang subukan.kung anong feeling na mahalikan ka.shet.hindi pwede.di naman kita mahal.pero gusto kita.tang ina.gusto kita.gusto talaga kita.di ko alam kung ano nararamdaman ko.gusto ko lang makasama ka.gusto ko mahawakan kamay mo.gusto ko mabait ka sakin.ayokong sinasaktan mo ako.ayoko nang masaktan.masaya ako pag kasama kita e.shetssss.tang inaaaaaaaa.gusto kita makasama bukas please please please.samahan mo ako.kelangan ko ng kausap.kelangan ko ng magpapasaya sakin.please.gusto kitang halikan.shetsssssssss

Operation: Smile More

So after almost 5 years of non-blogging, here I am again, attempting to express myself using modern technological ways. The last blog I made was purely out of peer pressure aka everyone has a blog so I should have one too. But this blog doesn't exist to please anyone anymore. I figured I needed somewhere to let out my thoughts and feelings, most of which I couldn't express in my everyday life. So if anyone happens to stumble upon this humble blog of mine, you can read it. But I warn you, most of this is drama, rantings, and senseless thoughts about life. 

But let's start with my thoughts about the new year-2011. 2010 was a pretty good year for me, Not really awesome, but not really bad. I had my share of good and bad times and some hopeful times in between. I remembered my resolution was to be on time and to not be paranoid. Well, sadly, I have to repeat those resolutions again. Hahaha. I am less late now, but still late. And my paranoia? Still frustratingly existent!!! I hate my worrying paranoid self. And I still haven't figured out a way to mitigate it at the least! I tried shutting my feelings, being numb and indifferent. That worked, but you still couldn't remove the feeling altogether. It's just like an 'off' switch. Same goes with drowning it with 'painkillers'. By painkillers, I mean drowining myself in TV series just so that I can get my mind off things. By the 3rd episode, my head would hurt so badly I'd just go to bed and sleep. See? Easy way out. I feel so wasted whenever I do that. It's like I'm on drugs HAHA (not that I every tried it but I guess it serves the same purpose: forgetting). Anyhoo, I'll try to find another way to get rid of it altogether. I'm tired of feeling this icky feeling. Gah. Which brings me to my new resolution for he year. It's funny how I overlooked/underestimated this when in fact, this was what made me happy/lucky in the first place. So here it is. This year 2011, I will do this more often:

SMILE.

Yeah, as simple as that. For the past two years, I haven't been smiling a lot, what with what happened last July 11,2008. Gah. I still remember. Of course I still remember. How can I not? But yeah. It just recently dawned on me that I need to be my happy smiling self again. That was what brought me to the love of my life. My smile. And hopefully, that is what would bring me back to him. It's not only my wide smile, but the feeling of postivity in me, that happy-go-lucky optimistic self that has been buried deep with tears and sadness. But yes, this year, I will try to smile more. Genuinely smile, that is. Cos I have to be strong for myself before I can be strong for the one I love. I can't help him if I can't help myself too,right? So yeah. As simple as that. It sounds simple, but for me, this is going to be a challenge. If I manage to smile more, that would mean I have gone past my paranoid worried self! So yay! Operation Smile More would be hitting two birds with one stone!Oh I'd have to succeed with this!Yes, I can and I will! AJA AJA!!!

That is all for now. I'm feeling dizzy and a bit hungry. Haha.